Honestly Hannah, you’ve had such huge life changes over the past few years, I think Helping Yourself first by quitting the sex ed work is also an act of social justice! Plus, you can now build up energy to “do something of purpose” again in the future. I feel like sometimes “social justice” acts are shown side by side with self-sacrifice, when I actually don’t believe self-sacrifice is sustainable or “socially justified” at all. As an audience, as a community, and as a society, we all benefit much more from a happy healthy Hannah!
Not knowing you in person, not at all, I may be wrong here. Still, I believe you actually describe a common human problem, so perhaps I am at least partially right.
I could cheer in and repeat what you already heard from others – and nothing would change. That does not mean it's wrong, but there is more.
The idea of constructivism is that you do not see the world as it is, but build a mental model of all you observe. Your identity is the model you obtain by looking at yourself. All observations and model building is influenced by the already existing model, by the environment and culture you live in and by your nature. Your identity is no exception.
Let me pick some words from your article: Capitalist, social justice movement, leftist, privilege, politics.
That's all culture and ideology around you framing your identity.
Then your capitalisation points out one thing: “Doing Something that is Helping People”.
That's part of your nature.
So you have taken away part of your identity, which breaks the mental model of your identity and you strive to fix that. How could you still be a valid person if you take away what connects the framework to your nature? That's what that gremlin is asking. They say invalid privileged persons without purpose do not deserve anything. In both capitalist and leftist worlds.
So here is the thing: It's a model, because it is biased and simplified. And as such it influences your observations. You notice that feedback cycle on yourself as that gremlin who does not shut up. Is it right? You can't decide. It does not sound like it is, except it feels like it is.
Ideologies deliver universal answers. They are not specific to the situation. They feel right if the answers match the current situation, but that does not make them right. Change the situation and they work against you. There are no universal answers. Whole cultures grow on ideologies when they match the contemporary situation, and die from the same as the world changes.
You are not defined by capitalism, the social justice movement, being a good leftist, your privileges and politics. If you insist you are, eventually you will suffer.
Helping others works best without ideologies. Review your most helpful videos. I bet you did not teach ideology. You tried to explain the world as it is. That's exactly the opposite of ideology. And that is what made you happy about them: Sharing obtained understanding.
Eventually you felt your thirst for understanding is larger and you changed course, exploring the unknown. Revising mental models is hard, and the harder, the older they are. You notice that gap you created. The ideologies that once worked so great to direct you no longer do.
That means you took a step, you have changed. If you are looking for a purpose, then start by "do no harm". Being happy, prioritising your health and your family are great. It improves your life and their life. Continue being mindful how you torture yourself by ideologies. Abandon your expectations how you think you should be. You will be rewarded by each step in that direction.
The elephant in the room is “how”. Modern psychology would speak of fast and slow thinking and suggest to give your slow thinking a chance in a relaxed, calm environment. That's how you can revise mental models and reach the new understanding you thrive for. Buddhism says pretty much the same, suggesting meditation. You want to map the path to go through uncharted territory. Try to describe who you are, not in terms how others, culture, ideologies and demands view you, but in your own terms. No easy task, but worthwhile.
Ah, the capitalism and that feeling of having to be productive all the time. Resting is revolutionary in this context.
No one can do one thing forever, and I think that you speaking on why did you left it is also very helpful to everybody, and now is the time to prioritize yourself.
And, frankly, we cannot be fighting all the time, we can show support in different ways and not only in a performative way (the one we seem to be demanded these days). We can act more locally, we can support causes, we can speak with those that surround us...
A big hug, and definitively I'll be a Patreon someday when I can spare it.
Honestly Hannah, you’ve had such huge life changes over the past few years, I think Helping Yourself first by quitting the sex ed work is also an act of social justice! Plus, you can now build up energy to “do something of purpose” again in the future. I feel like sometimes “social justice” acts are shown side by side with self-sacrifice, when I actually don’t believe self-sacrifice is sustainable or “socially justified” at all. As an audience, as a community, and as a society, we all benefit much more from a happy healthy Hannah!
Thank you! I appreciate this so much and you're right, and I would absolutely be saying this to anyone else in my shoes!
Not knowing you in person, not at all, I may be wrong here. Still, I believe you actually describe a common human problem, so perhaps I am at least partially right.
I could cheer in and repeat what you already heard from others – and nothing would change. That does not mean it's wrong, but there is more.
The idea of constructivism is that you do not see the world as it is, but build a mental model of all you observe. Your identity is the model you obtain by looking at yourself. All observations and model building is influenced by the already existing model, by the environment and culture you live in and by your nature. Your identity is no exception.
Let me pick some words from your article: Capitalist, social justice movement, leftist, privilege, politics.
That's all culture and ideology around you framing your identity.
Then your capitalisation points out one thing: “Doing Something that is Helping People”.
That's part of your nature.
So you have taken away part of your identity, which breaks the mental model of your identity and you strive to fix that. How could you still be a valid person if you take away what connects the framework to your nature? That's what that gremlin is asking. They say invalid privileged persons without purpose do not deserve anything. In both capitalist and leftist worlds.
So here is the thing: It's a model, because it is biased and simplified. And as such it influences your observations. You notice that feedback cycle on yourself as that gremlin who does not shut up. Is it right? You can't decide. It does not sound like it is, except it feels like it is.
Ideologies deliver universal answers. They are not specific to the situation. They feel right if the answers match the current situation, but that does not make them right. Change the situation and they work against you. There are no universal answers. Whole cultures grow on ideologies when they match the contemporary situation, and die from the same as the world changes.
You are not defined by capitalism, the social justice movement, being a good leftist, your privileges and politics. If you insist you are, eventually you will suffer.
Helping others works best without ideologies. Review your most helpful videos. I bet you did not teach ideology. You tried to explain the world as it is. That's exactly the opposite of ideology. And that is what made you happy about them: Sharing obtained understanding.
Eventually you felt your thirst for understanding is larger and you changed course, exploring the unknown. Revising mental models is hard, and the harder, the older they are. You notice that gap you created. The ideologies that once worked so great to direct you no longer do.
That means you took a step, you have changed. If you are looking for a purpose, then start by "do no harm". Being happy, prioritising your health and your family are great. It improves your life and their life. Continue being mindful how you torture yourself by ideologies. Abandon your expectations how you think you should be. You will be rewarded by each step in that direction.
The elephant in the room is “how”. Modern psychology would speak of fast and slow thinking and suggest to give your slow thinking a chance in a relaxed, calm environment. That's how you can revise mental models and reach the new understanding you thrive for. Buddhism says pretty much the same, suggesting meditation. You want to map the path to go through uncharted territory. Try to describe who you are, not in terms how others, culture, ideologies and demands view you, but in your own terms. No easy task, but worthwhile.
Wow this was such a deeply thoughtful perspective that I really needed to hear for how it relates to my own life. Thank you.
Wow that was a lot to get my head around but I think I understand what you're saying! Thank you so much for your insight x
I absolutely love the recording of your newsletter! It was lovely to listen to your friendly voice.
Ah, the capitalism and that feeling of having to be productive all the time. Resting is revolutionary in this context.
No one can do one thing forever, and I think that you speaking on why did you left it is also very helpful to everybody, and now is the time to prioritize yourself.
And, frankly, we cannot be fighting all the time, we can show support in different ways and not only in a performative way (the one we seem to be demanded these days). We can act more locally, we can support causes, we can speak with those that surround us...
A big hug, and definitively I'll be a Patreon someday when I can spare it.