My dream of living in New York is dead

I found my dream job but I’m not applying for it

Since I started using Notion to write and plan my newsletters in January 2021, I have been numbering the newsletters. This newsletter is number 69. Nice.

Sorry I couldn’t let it pass!

When I was 17 years old I visited New York City for the first time with my parents and sister and completely fell in love (like many people do). I vowed to myself that at some point in my life I would live in New York and for a few years I really did believe that after university I would make it work. I continued to visit a lot but as time passed, a lot of my creator friends moved out of the city (to LA or back home), I became more settled in London - in work and personal life, and logistically it seemed like a huge undertaking.

There is a part of me that has always hung on to 17 year old me’s dream of being a New Yorker (even if only for a few months or a year) but in the last week it really struck me that the dream has to die, or is already dead.

I was casually perusing the careers section on Patreon’s website and basically found my dream job (I’ve always said that if I were to ever get a “normal job” within the creator economy it would be with a company like Patreon). If I lived in the US, I would be applying so fast. It’s essentially a role doing a lot of the creator work I’m doing myself now but actually being employed by Patreon to do it. Amazing. I texted the job ad to my friend who has been living and working in Boston for the last 2 years and who also has kids (she’s moving back to the UK soon, yay!) and she confirmed for me many of my hesitations.

• The US is a scary place to live right now especially in terms of immigration status and visas

• I would be far away from family and friends which is HARD when you have kids

• The salary is good but the cost of living is so high in the US it doesn’t get you very far

• Health insurance is EXPENSIVE

• My child would grow up American

And of course on a personal note, we’re still trying to conceive so moving across the Atlantic seems like a bad idea.

It’s a strange feeling being confronted by this dream job that for many reasons I won’t be applying for. I have to remember that I don’t have to be doing my “dream job” right now and if anything it’s a really good thing that I can even identify a dream job. And as you’ll see below, the work I’m doing myself and the things I want to create myself are very much headed in that direction.

If I had seen this job ad 10 years ago when I was able to move to the US more easily (and Obama was president!) I probably wouldn’t even have wanted that job or been qualified to do it.

So I’m taking this as a positive sign that I’m still headed in the right direction and I have a clear sense of what kind of work excites me. But the New York dream is very much not a dream anymore. Also, slight flex but Jack Conte (CEO of Patreon) is someone I have met, spoken to, and been connected with over the years of being a creator on Patreon. So of course I sent him a cheeky email saying I would be 100% applying for that job if I lived in the US and his response was that I would “crush” it. So that’s very validating, thank you Jack!

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💼 I finished the business course! Now I just need to execute on everything I learned… the to-do list is long, folks! First thing first is starting a newsletter for content creators so I can actually communicate directly with people I want to work with and create things for! If this is you, please get in touch and I can add you to the list when it’s ready! I really want to support ambitious, overwhelmed creators, helping them get unstuck, find direction, and have purpose driven goals all without burning out in the process. Things in the works:

• IRL (probably London to begin with) community events and workshops

• Patreon Strategy consulting (1:1 and group)

• Creator mentoring

• Notion templates for creators

✊🏼 Andor Season 2 - I’ve tapped out of a lot of the Star Wars series in the last couple of years but I really loved Andor season 1 and knowing that season 2 is the last season (because it leads straight into Rogue One - my favourite Star Wars film) was reassuring. I love tightly wrapped up stories! Dan and I have been really enjoying this second season (one episode left at time of writing this!) It’s a weird narrative experience knowing that Cassian won’t die because he’s a main character in Rogue One but many of the other characters are up for grabs!

📚 I was a judge for the British Book Awards and I made a video all about the behind the scenes process of reading and judging the books, and going to the awards ceremony! Very pleased that The Bookseller team let me share as much as I did about the process. It’s just what actually went down in the judging room that really remains confidential!

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We are currently reading Disability Intimacy: Essays on Love, Care and Desire ed. by Alice Wong* (affiliate link) for the Doing It Book Club over on my Patreon. We’re meeting to chat on Wednesday 2nd July at 8pm BST. Please join us to chat all about the book and what you thought of it!

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