What’s missing from your life?
finding joy and play in adulthood
In the Culture Study newsletter by Anne Helen Petersen a few months ago, she posed this question:
“When you think about the things you loved about your childhood, what feels like an utter loss, what’s missing from kids’ lives, it’s useful to stop and ask yourself: when was the last time I made space for any of those things in mine?”
And I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I love that it flips the question back on yourself, the grown up. Makes it less “kids these days!” and more accountable to the way we live our own lives. Do we actually make time for the things we say we value? Do we even realise that the things that are good for kids are good for us too?
When I got to writing my new about me section for my website, I didn't think that much about it, it was just something that felt right when I wrote: “Now, I’m creating a healthy balance with business and life, finding joy and play in adulthood (and parenthood)…”
But since writing it, I’m realising how true it is for me. I am a big kid at heart! It’s in the way I dress, in my general enthusiasm and excitability for most things, and my desire (read: not actually making time) for doing creative things with my hands!
So what did I love about my childhood and what feels missing from life now, as an adult? I’m creating this list and putting it out there as an activity in itself but also to encourage you to make your own lists! And then we can all together make plans and hold each other accountable for making time for these special things in our lives 😊💛
Picnics
Playing rounders in the park
Playing out on the street (not sure what the adult equivalent to this is!)
Lots of baking
Painting and drawing
Drawing with chalk on pavements
Making paper chains
Learning dance routines (I really want to learn the Eras Tour choreography for ...Ready For It?!)
And to not completely overwhelm myself, I’m going to leave the list there. We may be at the end of picnics and playing rounders in the park season but this is something I do still occasionally do with my uni friends, especially when we go away for a weekend together. But I want to write down, for myself, that this is something I love!
You may recall, in my buying stuff from insta ads video I mentioned the idea of making my own soap as an off-hand comment. Well, I was in a charity shop recently and found a soap making kit for beginners! I took the sign and bought it. Will report back!
📚 We’ve created a community TBR over on Patreon! It’s no surprise that many folks in The Common Room love reading and so I thought it would be fun to co-create a TBR (to be read) and then share it with all patrons. This is a list of books read and recommended by many in the community. So if you’ve read any of these I'm sure you'll find someone to talk about them with, and if you haven't yet, consider it a bookish introduction to the community! We’re calling it the TCR TBR and there’s already talks of doing a new version every year!
🖼️ Yinka Shonibare CBE: Suspended States at the Serpentine Gallery (South) - I went to this exhibition for a video I’m working on and didn't know what to expect but I really loved it. The exhibition featured a lot of sculptures and installations exploring colonialism, identity, and culture. The artist meshes "African print" with Western colonial symbols and it's all very striking. My favourite room was the "War Library" - hundreds of books all named after various wars, conflicts, revolutions, and rebellions, but each book had been beautifully wrapped in an African print fabric cover. Also, I found it interesting that he uses his CBE (Commander of the British Empire) title in his professional name - and he talks about critiquing colonialism and the empire from within but also secretly wanting to be a part of it. Fascinating!
I shared this fave and a bunch of others (a podcast, book, music, and game!) in the Queer AF newsletter recently. QueerAF is a free newsletter for LGBTQIA+ people who want to understand the queer news without doom scrolling for quality queer content. Go check them out!
We did a Wearing vs Styling video again and I am once again taken aback by the amount of really thoughtful, analytical, and enthusiastic comments about style! I know I decided to do another one of these kinds of videos because the first one was a hit but I wasn’t expecting another to hit as much but hundreds of comments later I think it’s safe to say maybe I’ve accidentally started a new series? What if every few months I take new clothes I’ve got or old clothes I haven’t worn in ages/struggling to style and do this challenge? And WHAT IF for one episode I get personal stylist, Sian, back and we make it a lil competition?! 👀 okay getting ahead of myself here! But thank you for the love on the video!
We are currently reading Will I Ever Have Sex Again? by Sofie Hagen (affiliate link) for the Doing It Book Club over on my Patreon. The deadline is 6th October, please join us to chat all about the book and what you thought of it!
After reading this, I was so motivated to get an old DIY box out to make a miniature greenhouse (and I’d been wanting to do this since watching your paint by numbers Q&A vid!). I spent the evening getting lost in it after putting the little one to bed and it was sooo needed (also partly because the little one is 2.5 months old and I really need to reconnect to myself). Thank you, Hannah 🧡
Not a what question, for me it's a who question. Half a century ago, I wrote home from boarding school in Yorkshire about how very much in love I was, with a wonderful person who I later married and had a family with.. and who died last December after a 5 year battle with ovarian cancer. Now I soldier on... always one thought or recollection from tears; trying to find ways out of and around all the nevers. Nothing to be done. One more day, one more wave on the beach, another thing to experience, but not share...