It’s no secret that I am naturally a planner. I love me some goals and a 5 year plan but I’m also very realistic about the fact that there will always be things we can’t plan for, and as humans the things we want can often change. My husband, Dan, often talks about how when he’s retired he wants to live in the countryside - this however, has never been on my game plan. You might be thinking, “Hannah, how did you not know?! You married him! Did you not talk about your future?!” And yes we talked about it a lot but the house in the countryside dream he only had and/or shared with after we were married and after our son, Rowan, was born. So imagine my shock! As a born and raised city gal it has never occurred to me that at any point in my life I will live anywhere other than an exciting hustling bustling walkable culture-filled city.
I couldn’t see myself in this countryside life future that Dan envisioned for himself and so we started to joke about how maybe one day we’ll have enough money and I’ll have a flat in London and I’ll travel between London and the country (omg how upper middle class 😅) but this has all been jokes and I’ve never seriously imagined myself 50+ not in full time cohabitation with my husband. But times are changing and relationship structures are changing too! (if you have enough resources in some cases, have you heard of magpie parenting after divorce?)
But the other night, whilst on the toilet during the break of an open mic comedy gig where my friend Reb Day was doing some stand-up (to be precise), I could viscerally see this future and it looked bloody great. Dan has always been an introverted homebody and I’m more sociable and outgoing. We very much embrace our differences in our relationship and it works.
I could picture so clearly in my head this life where my husband had a cosy house in the countryside that I also lived in some of the time when I wanted family time, to chill out, play boardgames with him, watch TV together, cook together, shag, and get some fresh air. But then I also regularly stayed in the city (London? Manchester? Who knows), where I would see friends, go to gigs and the theatre,no and eat out the entire time. Yes I am imagining a very expensive lifestyle but I’m ✨manifesting✨. I told Dan about my vision and now I’ve started calling my hypothetical future flat in London my “bitch pad” 😅 and this is the new silly dream I’m now working towards. If Dan gets his house in the countryside, I want my bitch pad.
If you’re reading this you’re very likely a similar age to myself but do you ever think about your life over 50 or retirement? Do you have an idea of where you’ll be living and what you’ll be doing?
I wrote a thing for The Guardian about quitting! I wrote this a while ago but it has now been published. They changed some bits so it sounds more dramatic (like I’ve quit YouTube completely rather than just the sex ed channel) but still very exciting and it’s a funny experience being in the traditional press because suddenly you get messages (and my parents get messages!) from people saying they read it. It’s a big deal! 😅
Fallout - holy shit this new TV show on Prime based off the video game is INCREDIBLE. Dan and I binged it so quickly. The world building, the characters, the story - I just loved it all. There’s some really amazing TV shows coming out of video game IP. I swear this is the best fantasy/sci-fi TV show I’ve seen since Arcane (animated series based off League of Legends). The premise is that the nukes go off and some people hide and live in vaults underground while the rest of the world goes to hell. The story takes place 200 years after the bombs fell and a vault dweller, Lucy (our main hero), has her call to adventure and has to leave the vaults for the surface… what does she find? Who does she meet? Are the vaults really this perfect safe haven she was raised in? It’s bloody great.
TTPD - omg double faves this month because I couldn’t not include Taylor Swift’s new album, The Tortured Poets Department. It has been so much fun chatting about this album with everyone in the Patreon discord server, it seems to be quite a polarising album. I personally really love it, on first listen I thought I liked The Anthology tracks better but actually most of my faves are on the first half. To me, this album reads as an intentionally hilarious and heart breaking mess. It reminds me of crying over something that you know is so stupid and then laughing at yourself for the crying. Many moments of this album are so tongue in cheek, and satirically dramatic. And honestly, as someone with not that much drama in my life, I am LIVING for it. Especially, any time she screams like “Who’s afraid of little old me?!” or “old habits die SCREAMING”. My ears love those bits. I think my fave song is I Can Do It With a Broken Heart.
A couple things!
The moving out of the studio vlog is now live!
I’ve been posting more on TikTok (spoiler: I’m working with a TikTok expert and documenting the process for a YouTube video!)
We are currently reading Pleasure Activism by adrienne maree brown for the Doing It Book Club over on my Patreon and the deadline is 26th May. Please join us to chat all about the book and what you thought of it!
My grandmother re-married as a widow when she was 75yo. Her new partner had a strong love for hiking in mountains and owns a flat at the very south of France. Whereas my grandmother has always been the traveling one, making her own Tour de France by visiting relatives, children and grandchildren. And she just couldnt picture herself being stuck down south. So they decided to live separately for the winter : he with his mountains, her in Paris where she was closer to everything and everyone. And they joined in his big family house for spring and summer, seeing each other on occasions for special events during winter. And it worked out great for them !! Everyone was happy, no major compromises, and they were even more happy when they get to see each other 🥰
I'm days away from turning 38 and I live more rural now with my husband and our 2 year old. During the pandemic living in our city apartment made us very anxious, overwhelmed and craving more space with less city noise. I'm still so relieved we found a home to raise our daughter in, now to establish community. He and I talk about going even more rural to a cabin on a lake in 20 years!!